Disclaimer: This post is not really about lunchboxes at all. If you have found your way here hoping for a fun bento post, just look at the pictures. This post is mostly a somewhat morose reflection on what it is like to be alive in the world.
Here we go.
I don't know if it's the third-quarter phenomenon of COVID (please let it be, because then we are nearly done-ish, right?), or if it's just lots of life getting to me right now, but I'm feeling lots of heart break. Really feeling it.
I feel like you might think I'm rehashing something I've mentioned before. Maybe I am. But there is more to it than my usual "This is hard and bad stuff has happened, let's keep going" mindset. It's hard. I'm feeling it. I'm in it.
All around are people struggling with relationships. Wrestling with changed lives. Jobs being changed, or made redundant. Plans cancelled altogether. There is so much unknown. We don't know what's coming next. We can't plan. We don't know how to deal with what is happening now. We are all just making things up as a we go. Or making things a big mess as we go.
And yet, the world is still spinning. The seasons are still changing. I get up in the morning and I make yet another lunch for the girls because they are going to school, just like any ordinary day.
This has been the hardest thing for me. To know that people are hurting. Struggling. Wanting answers to things that are so unknown. The heartbreak is real. And life is going on.
Passages from Ecclesiastes are resonating with me. There are so many things under the sun that are falling apart, unfair, or unjust. What are we do to, but to eat, work and be happy with what God has given us.
I don't have answers. I'm not wondering why this is all happening. I'm not trying to ignore it, or pretend it's not real. There is no gloss shine I can apply to make all that is broken appear smooth and fine. It is broken. The ache is real.
And there is seemingly nothing I can do but pray, and make lunches.
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