Tuesday, December 27, 2005

cool as Zoegirl lyrics :D

Does anybody know how I feel?
Sometimes I'm numb, sometimes I'm overcome
Does anybody care what's going on?
Do I have to wear my scars like a bandage on my arm
For you to see me, I need release

Do I have to scream for you to hear me?
Do I have to bleed for you to see me?
Cause I grieve, you're not listening to me
Do I need to scream?

Has anybody seen what's been done?
Where was my defense? No one heard my protest
The eyes of God were watching me
It's time to make my peace, let go and be released
So I can breathe again
I'm on my knees

I've been marked, set apart
But I'm cut so deep and afraid of the dark
One drop of blood from the hole in Your hand
Is enough to heal me and make me stand

'Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me

I don't have to scream for Him to hear me
I don't have to bleed for Him to see me
'Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me
I don't have to scream
I don't have to bleed
'Cause I'm clean, He is listening
And I don't have to scream

Saturday, December 24, 2005

You wouldn't know it
But this is true love
I didn't feel butterflies
Or feel electric sparks
I didn't hear the bells ring
Or even church bells chime

All I felt was love and care
The ultimate sacrifice, forever

True love was continual giving
True love was sacrifice
True love was 39 lashes
And true love was nail pierced hands

All I feel is shame and grief
As I see my true love die
his ultimate sacrifice for me
true love is sacrifice

true love loved me before I cared
before I even know
true love died while I still sinned
and true love left the choice to me
to step up and take the offered love
or refuse and push the scarred hand away

and yet
true love still waits for me
no matter how far I stray

Sunday, December 18, 2005

when i got to work very early on saturday, i had enough time to clean under the dishwasher and under the fridge and under the coke fridge as well! and when i did the last thing, i found this 1 000 000 dollar bill from america. wahts the bet its a fake :P dam

anyway, it says (as, i believe, do all american notes) "In God we trust" which is 100% cool. but this note also has (which i am failry sure standard american notes dont have) is a message round the side.

"The million dollar questions: Will you go to heaven? Here's a quick test. Have you ever told a lie, stolen anything, or used God's name in vain? Jesus said. "Whoever looks apon a woman wto lust after her has committed adulteryu already with her in his heart". Have you looked with lust? Will you be guilty on Judgment Day? If you have done thoes things God sees as lying, thieving, blasphemous, aldlterer at heart. The bible warns that if you are guilty you will end up in Hell. That's not Gods will. He sent His Son to suffer and die on the corss for you. Jesus took your punishment opon himself "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, bit have everlasting life." Then He rose from the head and defeated death. Please, repent (turn from sin) today and trust in Jesus, and God will grant you everlasting life. Then, read your bible daily and obey it. www.wayoftheMaster.com"

pretty cool hey?
when i woke up this morning at 5:15 and thought "i have to walk to work!" i was wrong, and i got to sleep for another hour!! wonderful! then i got up and ready and walked to work. in the hot sun. but i got to work 20 mins early! what a belssing, cos the close was pretty crap.

sadly however, when it got to 9:15 and half of the things i was supposed to have done were still not done cos i was serving, things started to look alot worse. and then when it got to 9:40 and no one had turned up to help me, they went down hill very fast. not only was i so busy serving i couldnt finish the open (ie pack dounts into boxes, put price tags up) i was so busy serving i couldnt call whoever was supposed to come in and get them to come in, or even call other ppl in earlier. i called upstairs, but they had a broken froz coke machine that had flooded their shop.

finally, when a lovley lady tried to talk to me at coffee, i lost it and started crying. right there in fount of the coffee machine. i have never been so exausted in my life and the only thing i could do was keep workign and cry. and any time some one asks me abotu it, or if im ok, i just cry again. (subliminal message here: dont ask me about it, i have no wish to cry any more). even now, as i sit here and type this im crying.

All i can say is that God provides everythign you need, and though my weekness he made me strong. God gave me what i could handle and nothign more. when i really couldnt take it, He provided a set of nice customers who asked what they could do (eg put donuts away) and one who was even nice enough to ring shaun for me and ask him for help. God also made sure nothing broke while i was franticly working away, He made sure i hadnt forgottne to turn anything on that morning, and He froze my ipod on the way to work so that when i turned it back on i woudl put the worship play list on. (incidently, He also provides a fairly good boss, who know the right thing to say to the people who didnt come in to make sure they did come in, for instance, "if you want a job on monday, you need to come in now" which worked wonders compared with my "you need to come in cos you ahve a responsibility and im stressed!" which failied quite misrably. (thanks God, for shauney, who is also giving me an extra hours pay for the stress i was under :)))

now, its time for me to go to sleep and try to recover a little bit before tomorrow at work. but as i sit here, dry eyed (finally!) id just like to say (in a great subliminal message :P) that im exausted, but mostly, im worried about my best friend. she hasnt talked to me for a very long time. and it feels like, she doesnt want to. sure shes an introvert, but i hope she realises that soon, introvert or not, not talking to people is going to hurt thoes who are waiting. God didnt put us in this world alone, but together.

Thankfully God uses imprefect people, otherwise nothing would get done. and today, though my stressful, tearfull and all round exausting experince at work, i know that He is the one who is strengthening me, ready for His use in the furture.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

John works full time at a software company. and he asked if i was still at school :P

what a compleatly random post :P honestly i think posts are ways to communicate with the people you know who read them by hiding subliminal messages in them.

today on my day off, i woke up with a splitting head ache. and then the phone rang and i jumped out of bed to get it befor it woke fiona up. then i had a funny conversation wiht someone who didnt say her name but seemed to think sarah was still going out with ben... now the washing is 12 minuets off being done which means i have to go out and find the basket and then put antoher load on. no worries.

incidently, john says i created a new move by almost falling over while we were dancing last night....