Enough

I often wonder if I've done enough in a day. Have I been productive? Do I have something to show for the time spent? Maybe it's my task-driven nature coming through, but I often don't think a day has been worthwhile unless I can list of four or five things that are done.

Today, I'm feeling really tired. It is Grumpy Thursday for Sophie which always makes things trickier. We have people coming round for a thing on Saturday which I'm getting ready for. I vacuumed the house and spent an hour and a half starting to cook sweets for Saturday. (Check out the best Caramel Macadamia Slice I've ever made. Yum!)

At about 12:15, I was feeling fatigued and as I lay on the floor next to Sophie playing with duplo, I may have been wanting 1:00 to come faster so that Sophie could go to bed and I could have a nap. Then, inevitably, as 1:00 rolls around and Sophie is in bed, I'm suddenly struck by the thought: "Have I done enough to warrant a nap now?"

Have I done enough?

I've still got things to cook. I could be organizing dinner. There are three different sewing projects that need finishing, lying on the table waiting for me. Surely I should be doing these things. I could tidy up Sophie's toys (again). The hedges at the front need trimming and the lawn could use a mow. Is there something I could read? Then at least I'd have some progress to report on when Steve returns.

I wonder why I'm trapped by this desire to do things. Why am I continually deriving my worth, or the worth of my day from the list of things I can tick off? I long to hear God say to me: "Well done good and faithful servant." but am I trying to get that affirmation the wrong way?

Lord, help me to put aside the things and do what pleases you.

"The Lord has told you what is good, and what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8