"Whatever Paula, your life is too complicated"

Snap

I'm just trying to do my best here, but somehow, even that isn't good enough. The wearyness has set in and here at uni at 8:24 am, i'm oh so ready to go home and go to bed and sleep untill the world is finished and i don't have to deal with it any more.

Is it my fault that there arent 36 hours in a day? is it really up to me to cancel things i have already paid for so i can go to one dinner? has my life faded away from some people and is it my fault they are feeling left out?

News flash - the way things are is not going to be the way they always are. things are going to change. and it's not my fault. You can't blame me for not having spare time, and you can't blame me for your job putting you on a night you wanted to go out, and you can't even blame the "steve-factor". don't even try.

I'm sorry Lord, but I'm finding life just a little hard right now.

I wanted so much to be angry and spend this whole post ranting, but walking home last night, i realised, in some cruel irony, that i don't actually have the time to be angry. Ha. *sigh*

"I won't give up, cos You don't give up on me"

Ok Lord i'll try my best but i really think i'm going to need your help. There is just no way i'm going to make it on my own.

Anyway, time to make some sense i reckon. I can't please everyone, and running around trying to is only making me busier and making it hurt more when people blame me for not being super woman. So I've decided that at least untill the April holidays are over, I'm going to be staying home during the week.

No dancing on mondays, no Rock-climbing on wednesdays, no chruch on tuesday nights. Time for Paula to recouperate and just try surviving for a while.

Thanks to all thoes people who have watched me cry and then fed me ice cream to make things better. you rule. :)