So I really wanted to forget about life at the moment, and my answer to that in the past has been to read. Only today, reading isn’t really enough, not that I have time to do it anyway. Today there is more of a need to write. To write a story, any story. A story where happy things happen. Where there is no horrible struggle with sins and temptation or the question about what to do with life is never raised. A story where people just do what they do. You grow up, you have fun, you fall in love.

But these stories don’t exist. So I can’t write one.

The next best thing is a story with bad things that happen but things that turn out all right in the end. Those endings that are supposed to happen, because they are just right. Like the end of “Old Magic” where Jarrod stands up for Kate in front of all the cool kids. Or like the end of the Lioness Quartet where Alanna marries George and lives happily as a knight ever after.

But what is my happy ending? How can I write when I don’t know how I want things to turn out? What am I supposed to do?

Dear God, help me to remember that this isn’t my story. This is your story. And it does have a happy ending.

So i haven't posted in ages again... I guess every time i go to, i think; "Nah, that's not really cool at all." But tonight for the first time in ages, i feel really at peace and able to handle things, and i know it's not because of me at all - it's because of Jesus and i think that's Great!

So tonight when i was coming home from dropping everyone off, i was thinking about how great God is to be pulling Allie back to him. How awesome is God that he never gives up on us at all!? And i was thinking; "In my life - who do i write off as 'not ever going to be saved' or 'not worth my time because there is someone else who would be closer to saying yes'? And all i can think is - i'm so glad Jesus didn't write me off.

But more than that - i'm so glad he's reminded me that he doesn't write anyone off. No one is too far gone for him. He is always pulling people back in. No one is a write off to him. Ever.

How great is our God! So now i ask - who have you been praying for that you have given up on latley? Who are you not trusting Jesus to work in? Remember that no one is a write off to Jesus - he's still working on them!

So praise God that i've been able to go through a whole CE with Elly. Praise God that she still wants to meet up with me to learn more. Praise God that Akiko and Claire are interested in Jesus and willing to meet me to know more. But Praise God so much more that out of the 100 sheep that were already in the pen - he's gone out looking for the lost one that i had been silly enough to count as dead long ago.


P.S. I heard back from the story people and i didn't make it - but i'm ok with that. God, the almighty creator of the universe, loves me - what's a story compared to that?