Yeah! its monday again!!

i feel a bit bad actually, cos i still havent recorded that stuff for jbf, and it doesnt look like it will happen too soon cos my voice is back on a low again. *sigh* jbf was packing shoe boxes all weekend though which was cool :D go jbf!

but tonight is dancing!! :D:D yeah yeah yeah! im considerign skipping music, but i really should go, and really - if i dont go - what am i going to do? study korean -hahaha not goign to happen. (that reminds me though - i need to buy a bus ticket) oh this week is pay week :D:D yeah for pay week!

the little dinosour was in my room before, telling me that what im wearing isnt so cool. but i really like what im wearing :D oh well! i mean, it coudl be loads worse. msn is having such a tempremental day though, signing me in and out like crasy! its good i have 2 accounts.. :D

man all this superfical stuff, ive just been talking with ricky about how this world doenst matter. its all going to fade away. i dont really belong here at all. i am a citizen of Heaven - thats my true home - the House of my Father. cant wait to go there! (but saying that, ricky said i sounded suicidal....) hhehehe

ok anyway, been thinking latley we shoudl be living a life of praise. ... tahts abotu as far as ive gotten. i dunno how to live taht life of praise cos i knwo form experince that all too often i get distracted by living in genral and forget to praise God, but i really do believe that we should be trying our best to live praising God. he dosent want us to get tied down by being here or how we, as humans, have a problem with sin, he wants us to look at him and go "WOW"

SUCCESS!!! well sorta :D my music assignment is 99% done and in about 1 hr it will be 100% done. :D so thats pretty fantastic. probably the reason i havent been posting (not that i post all that reguraly anyway) recently. :) dancing last night was megga fun. Jazz wasnt there so i felt it was my duty to have a dance with John for her. you know hes not that good, just showy. :P i have danced with guys who are eaquly as good, but less showy which infact makes them 100% better to dance with. :) sorry Jazz, you but you got to dance with some quality guys. :D one guy i was dancing wiht (finally learnt his name) has been to japan! :D too bad i found that out at the end of the dance :P but im srue we will talk abotu it next time :D

so today, after my music assginment is done, i am going to revise Korean, and then going to garden city, to get some money out - might even by my frog thing too!! :D:D i need to find that 50$ gift voucher... humm... anyway!

i was sorta thinking abotu working on songs last night, and i couldtn find the lyrics to the one i wrote like 3 mths ago!! i need some orgnisation! So anyway here are some other lyrics i dug up last night, that i have to dedicate to JoshJamesBarrFerret, jsut cos hes really cool and pretty much an inspiration to me. :)

On my knees i come again
the only way i ever should
ive just suddenly had a revelation
that im somewhere i shouldnt be

remembering You
brings tears to my eyes
and remembering You
makes me think of sacrifice

Ive forgotten You, lost in this place
of living life and getting it right
realizing again that ive screwed it up
reminding me to return to your grace

i cant really beileve it, and i suppose that alot of people reading this wont believe it either, but right now, i actually want to talk to someone - and there is no one online!! i dont know how or why this has happened, but im not sure i like it :P oh theres the phone... doubt its for me though... and i was right. that was my Yia-yia checking to see if i got home and dad likes his birthday presents, cos its his birthday today. it was chris's birthday today too, most of the reason that i remembered is that it was dads birthday.

Man i really like this song. i cant believe this year is almost over. is that really possible??? i cant believe that shops are putting up christmas decorations already... that is hard to believe. man so many things that are hard to believe. speaking of hard to believe, i foudn it hard today to explain what believing in Jesus ment at CE. i dont know why, but when it try to wokr off the stuff they give you instead of jsut trusting God, it makes things so much more complicated, and as a result i confused eveyrone quite a bit... *sigh* then i prayed and i think it turend out all right. i want to send an email to Chris to check, but i dont wnat to seem im pushing... dam taht pushing....

You know who else is pushing... ricky... dam that boy. (in a good way). hoenstly i jsut wish he didnt make me feel so confused. not that im confused, but its jsut anoying having stuff to say but not saying it, or not getting the chance to say it, or not knowing if you will ever get the chance to say it. its very confusing and anoying. maybe i should be learning paticence...

tell you what though, my yia-yia needs patcients. she fully kicked the lift door today when it didnt come fast enough... *oi!* and eveyrone thought old ppl were harmless....

Jesus please get back in the drivers seat, i promise ill try not to fiddle with the indicators....

Well i dont know what to say, except that God rules!! honestly jsut taken over by him on sunday and i cant believe it all. Jesus jstu roks my soks! :P ahahha such a joshbarrferret thing to say :D

"Cos i dont have the words to say
to show wahts in my heart
For you, Oh Lord, are worthy of more,
than i could ever say..."

so anyway, its been a busy weekend and now its monday again, and i was just so in awe of God last night and i still am now, but now that it is monday, there are all thoes little things that are just coming back to haunt me. like my music assignment... which i have started... started being the key word there - i havent acutally finished it yet. but i didnt expect that i would. :P i feel so unprepared for it all :P sillyness i know but thats the way it is.

finally got around to making up a sunday play list for me and amy, :D yeah yeah yeah!! its called "sunday mornign girl power" adn is full of music by great bands such as superchic[k], barlow girls, brook fraser with some other ppl thrown in. its all pretty wonderful.

im sure there was soemthing else to say, there usually is. but as always ive forgotten. If only i had the words to discribe God...

Just got home from uni, and now i can finally expand my lungs again. such a small thing, but something i think we all take for granted all too often. the reason im ranting abotu being able to expand my lungs when i breath in, is because i wore a yukata to uni again today. Just an incredibly spur of the moment thing, but fun all the same. now, my yukata is lying on my bed waiting for me to fold it up again, adn i need to have a shower before dinner, but im stalling by getting on msn :D ahh the fantastic procrastinating nature of msn :D really though i did have a purpose. i was hoping some frieneds woudl be on. but they arent yet... thats ok! what i should do is go have a shower now and when i come back they will hopefully be on, but typically, im already talking to 3 ppl, and it would be so rude jsut to leave, so im going to finish typing this and then get off.

the major decision of the day is that i will start my music assignmetn tomorrow! i have been inspired by fionas last minuet attack on assignments (starting one tomorrwo tahts due friday...) and im going to do mine! yes i am!! after i come home from uni.... ahh uni....

uni on wednesdays has to be one of the coolest days at uni, mostly cos i have bible study and CE, the thing that will make tomorrow different form past wednesdays, is taht i am taking CE.. as in leading it, rather than watching Scott lead it. So after i have a shower and get back on msn, im goign to prepare for CE, adn also possibly do my korean homework (no tv for me tonight...) So much prayer will be focused on leading CE tomorrow, that i will be able to speak the words God wants me to and hopefully make an impression on Chris and Ricky so that they come to realise Jesus is the only way. :D

You give and take away
My heart will choose to stay
Well Blessed be your name

Honestly, when i started this, i swore to myself i wouldnt put up random and unexplained posts that woudl confuse everyone. :P and look at me! oh well. time to rectify the situation with this: my God inspired thought of the night.


Free Gift: Saved by Grace

Its like we are all in jail. All humans. We are there because we have done everything wrong, even with out knowing it. We are in jail and there is no release date on our doors. No one wants to let us out, because we deserve to be locked up forever. We are that bad.

And then one day, someone sends you a gift. Even though you have never had any visitors, you have never had any phone calls and you even have trouble remembering what its like to live outside jail. Someone has sent you a gift. And when you open it up, it's a golden key. It's the key to the cell you are in. it's the key that then unlocks the gate at the end of the hall. It's the key that opens the electrified security fence outside.

So you take your key, and you open the first door and start walking out. As you walk through the halls, you notice that everyone has a key. Some people have opened their doors and are already down the hall. Some people are just putting the key in the lock and checking to see if it really will turn. Some people have hidden their keys under their beds. Some people haven’t even opened the box.

When you get outside you walk down the street and you find that some people who just got out are being taken straight back to jail. Some people are wearing their keys around their necks like a safety vest. Some people have hidden their keys in their pockets and are pretending they didnt have them in the first place. Some people are walking beside you. And finally some one says: “Hey, I just got out too. Want to come to a sinners anonymous meeting with me? I hear we give thanks for our keys and waste time wondering why we got sent them.”


Thoughts: why do some people stay in jail with their keys instead of accepting their free gift? Why would someone send me this gift? this is what it must mean to be saved by Grace. past all human expection where in the world we live in, you dotn get anythign unless you earnt it, Grace is something that only God coudl have thought up. That only God woudl give because of his love for us. his love for me. Thank you for this Grace Jesus. Thank you for the key to my jail cell. May i always be at the sinners anonymous meeting thanking you for the gifts you give.

1. knowledge means nothing really
2. its not about what you want
3. its not about how you feel

its not about what i want. its not about how i feel. its not about what i know. its about Jesus. its about what he wants for me. its about doing my best to give him the glory. its all about Jesus.

So if i feel stupid, maybe its time i stop feeling stupid and start focusing on Jesus again. cos he is all i need.

All i need is Jesus.

Happy half year bithday to me! 19 and 6 mths doesnt come round every day and i think we should all celebrate! :D

I worked for a very long time today, and again my hands smell like donut king - will this forever be the case? i hope not. shanuny knows i had an interview with boost. he asked me if i was happy and offered me more hours and stuff. hes a funny one. :)

My Pa-Pou's funeral yesterday was good as funerals go. im not going to be put down for a greek funeral, but other wise it was a good send off for him. aussie flowers on the casket and it poured rain afterwards. he was probably laughing at our tears.

"I step outside and i open my eyes
and realise that i cant take a breath
wiht out you being on my mind
theres nothing that i can do,
theres nothing that i can say,
im falling flat on my face
and ive been blown away."

After a long talk with allie in the car last night, i wish there were simple answers to faith. i wish there were a formula that could be applied to everyone so they would know that God is God, and the answer to all the questions. Faith is such a hard thing to explain and come by, espically chrisiantiy, becuase it requires faith based on what we cant see, based on more than we can feel or explain, based on what goes beyond logic. Deciding what to believe.. its tough. sometimes i wonder why God gave us free choice becuase its how we get so confused and lost sometimes... but then, im so glad i serve him because i love him and for no other reason.